Escape from Baltimore, Part I.

Over Labor Day weekend, Red and I fled town. We did this because of a small traffic jam known as the Baltimore Grand Prix (I’m not linking because get bent, you assholes). This is an event which, starting on the Thursday before Labor Day, turns the city into an Escape From New York-style nightmare in the name of tourism, cars that go really, really fast, and people dumb enough to want to sit outside on metal bleachers while the asphalt reflects the scorching summer heat. Once would be bad enough, but it is supposed to happen annually. I could write a book about all the ways it sucks, but I won’t because last year we decided that we would simply do an end-run around the whole clusterfuck by leaving town every Labor Day.

Every day for a month, I drove to work through a cage. Photo ripped from wn.com. 

This year, it was a no-brainer. We have friends in New Hampshire and Rhode Island, so we hopped a short little flight up to Manchester and prepared for a weekend of food and camaraderie. New England did not disappoint us.

Our first stop was at my heart-sister Jess’ place. I miss her every day and hope that one day we’ll live in the same city again. She and her husband Matt are new parents to the most adorable, magical little stinker. I’m completely in love with him. He didn’t get to have any of this, though:

Hello, lover.

I was overjoyed to learn that Trader Joe’s stores in more civilized states (read: not Maryland) sell alcohol. Not only that, but they’ll also give you a list of all their vegan selections. Finally, cheap vegan wine! Turns out that Three-Buck Chuck is highly drinkable. So is Green Fin, which is about a dollar more. I don’t think I’ve ever bought two bottles of wine for under eight dollars before. It all went marvelously with the massive quantities of Indian food we powerhoused while gossiping and playing Scrabble.

Confession: Until this trip, I had never actually had a dosa. Sure, I’d eaten my fair share of my low-budget dosadillas, but those are crap compared to the real thing. The spongy, injera-like dough! The savory filling! The little cups of chutney and dipping sauce! These dosas were fantastic. That’s a samosa on top there, as a bonus. Basically we ate a lot of fried dough and carbs, then wondered why we couldn’t move.

Surprisingly, we were hungry again the next day, so we all met up at Life Alive Café, a hella hippie place that is also the most gorgeous restaurant I’ve ever visited. For real, look at the bathroom:

It was a tiny tropical paradise.

Tell me you don’t want to just hang out in there for a while.

All the dishes have ridiculous but friendly names. It’s hard not to feel like a spaz when ordering The Romantic:

It's basically tofu, avocado, and broccoli, but it hit the spot.

Jess ordered The Hot & Healthy Bachelor, though, so I think she wins. Everything was delicious. If only my latte had been bottomless. Endless caffeine makes everything better.

The utterly scenic Lowell, Massachusetts (I am not even being sarcastic; Lowell has come a long way since my dad grew up there):

Side of the New England Quilt Museum.

Obviously.

I don't know. I just liked it.

This cool-looking building houses one of the UMass Lowell bookstores, among other things.

After that, there were many many hugs and baby snuggles before we hit the road to Providence. Come back soon and check out the rest of our trip! I promise to post the second half before winter arrives.

The only sandwich book you will ever need.

Greetings, lovers! I know I’m (predictably) late on this, but in case you’re living in some sad, Internet-less place and haven’t heard, Tamasin Noyes and Celine Steen’s long-awaited opus of sandwiches, Vegan Sandwiches Save the Day!, has hit the street! And what a book it is. Red and I were lucky enough to be testers, and we had a blast. I’ve never been a sandwich fiend, but since he’s gone vegan, he really missed chowing down on thick, savory sandwiches on crusty sub rolls. It didn’t take long for me to realize what I’d been missing, and his sandwich itch has been lustily scratched. (Also, there are sandwich cookies.) Tami and Celine are dream authors to test for—not only do they invent amazing, creative recipes, they are also unfailingly gracious and receptive of feedback. For a peek at the fun we had testing, check out my album o’ sandwiches. These sandwiches are so good, we made several of them again while waiting for the book’s publication.

Recently, that happy day arrived! Vegan Sandwiches Save the Day! is ready to rock your kitchen and stuff your face full of sandwiches that are big on flavor and rich in bunly goodness. Here’s me, excitedly peeping out from behind my copy:

Squeeeee!

Here, learn about the origins (apocryphal or no, who cares?) of this noble, versatile food. And then make one!

In the City by the Bay, Days 6 and 7.

Don’t you just love how it’s taken me months to write up this trip? Honestly, you’d think I had a life or something.

Anything, after my day traipsing around Hilary’s neighborhood with her and her kiddos, on top of the previous days of nonstop walking, I was in honest-to-Goddess pain. I fucking hurt, I tell you. If I owned it, it was sore.

So I went to the sex shop. Why, what would you have done?


I was pleased to discover that Good Vibrations, famed women-friendly purveyor of toys for grown-ups (or at least those over 18), had a location right around the corner from our hotel. I believe in supporting progressive, independent, and women-owned businesses whenever possible, so I (slowly, gingerly) walked myself down the street and did some shopping.

No, I’m not telling you what I bought. Yes, I do recommend visiting if you’re in town (Good Vibes has other locations, too. Plus, there’s always the internet).

The rest of my day was free except for our dinner date at Millennium, so I thought it wise to seek out a yoga class to help my poor muscles unclench. Luckily, there was one about a mile away. Unluckily (and typically, given my sense of direction and confusion with regard to mass transit), I picked the wrong bus and ended up walking most of that mile. It was worth it, though: Satori is a lovely, welcoming studio and I very much enjoyed a Mellow Flow class. I was glad I’d packed my travel mat; it’s very thin and unsupportive on wooden floors, but is perfect on top of those generic studio mats you probably don’t want to get too intimate with. To top it off, they offered post-yoga hot towels and I even got the right bus back to the hotel. Then I sat my ass in the hot tub for a while, soaking away any residual stiffness.

When I came back from all that me-time, Red was back from his final day of conferencing. I was happy because I like it when he’s around.

Then, Millennium! We both spiffed up and prepared for an awesome evening. Spoiler alert: We are big fans of Millennium. We sat at the bar, and Josh started us off with drinks that were so delicious, I can’t remember what they were. Mine had smoked pineapple sugar; that much I can recall. They get creative with their cocktails there, which I appreciate. Also, it was a dream come true to not have to fret over the wine list, wondering if any of it was vegan. BECAUSE IT ALL WAS. *fistbump*

And the food. Red and I were sort of, “We’re in your hands; feed us whatever you think we’ll like.” And so we had pickled veggies, a medley of olives, and fried oyster mushrooms to start. We shared a little salad that I think might have been warm and had potatoes and arugula in it (this is what happens when you wait five months to write up what you ate; I do remember the dressing being yummy).





As our entrée, one of us ordered these fried sushi rolls with asparagus:


I could have eaten a dozen more and been happy with my Millennium experience, but no. And look! My first time eating lotus root! It was very crunchy. And so pretty, too. I almost felt weird about eating it because I feel an affinity for lotus flowers. (Here’s how to do padma mudra. This has been your Daily Yoga Snack™.)


We also shared this delicious spicy glazed tempeh with veggies in a coconut curry. So rich and sweet.


During all this, Josh suggested wine pairings and made sure we picked wines that complemented our food. I fell in love with one wine (Woodenhead Halfshell White, marry me), only to have my heart broken when I got home and my liquor store guy told me he couldn’t get it. Looks like we’ll be going back to Northern California so I can stock up.

Oh yes, dessert. Not to be anticlimactic about it, but we were so full that we knew we wouldn’t really enjoy it if we snarfed it down there at the restaurant (my friend B calls it “eating through the pain”), so Josh kindly boxed it up for us. Obviously my photo is crap, but this little panna cotta was the perfect ending to a fabulously indulgent day.


HUGE thank-yous and hugs to Josh and the staff at Millennium for giving us an amazing final night in San Francisco. I hope we’ll be back soon.


Day 7 barely counts, because we got up and went to the airport. But there was food involved, so I’ll tell you about it. Because we were not lucky enough to be flying Virgin America, we couldn’t get to the terminal where Plant Café has their all-vegan outpost. I was bummed about this, because it also meant that we couldn’t get to the yoga room, either. Terminal 2 is where it’s at, y’all.

Still, we managed very well. Go Bistro only had one vegan option, but one is all we needed. Veggie stir-fry: Breakfast of champions. Then we found our gate and settled in to watch some Doctor Who on Red’s laptop. (We had Sherlock, too, but wanted to save the last episode until we got home.)


Dinner was less successful. We changed planes in Atlanta, which is a terrifying megalopolis of an airport. The best thing we could find to eat was french fries. Sad, I know. But after that, we made it home and crashed and woke up and brought Lucy home and everyone took a nap together and everything was awesome.

Thus ends our West Coast saga. I’d go back in a heartbeat; Red, maybe not so much. But wherever we go next, I’m looking forward to it.

In the City by the Bay, Day 5.

So, after my day of walking all over the Haight with Josh, I was pretty sore. I decided I didn’t care, because I was going to spend the day with my girl Hilary and her awesome kiddos! You might remember her former blog, Plate + Simple. It will forever have a place in my heart because Hilary and I became instant friends, and she later interviewed me. I still remember how tickled I was that someone cared enough about my ramblings to want an entire interview. You blew my mind, Hil. Now she blogs at Mod Apron, where I get daily doses of the kid-filled domestic bliss I hope to have someday soon. As soon as I knew Red and I would be in San Francisco, I emailed Hilary to tell her that we’d not only be in the same country (as she hails from that utopia to the North known as Canada), but in the same city! I’m not one to make big distinctions between “Internet friends” and “real-life friends,” because why can’t they be one and the same? Still, I was psyched that we could finally meet in person.

That day was the grayest and rainiest of our week in San Francisco, but it didn’t matter. Hilary made me breakfast (oatmeal and fresh fruit; I couldn’t have asked for anything better on that chilly morning) and welcomed me like I’d been dropping by her house on the regular for years. We walked her daughter Maya to preschool (OMG so much walking that week) and made funny faces at her little boy Henry. (Seriously, hie thee to Mod Apron just to get a load of Henry’s contagious grins.) It was exactly the mellow day I needed. We talked about damn near everything—it was like hanging out with one of my oldest friends, one who shares valuable life advice while brewing fragrant herbal tea. And she bought me this fantastic pretzel bagel, too:

EAT ME.

Red and I had dinner plans (not Millennium, though—that’s coming!), so after Hilary and I picked up Maya, we posed for this drop-dead-gorgeous photo and I managed to find the right bus back to the hotel. Thank you for a wonderful day, daahhhling!

I ♥ Hilary.

I feel like I must have taken a nap when I got back, but maybe I didn’t. Probably I rubbed peppermint lotion into my feet and read a few chapters of the book I’d brought, A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness. It’s so good, you guys. I’d call it the perfect vacation book, but that makes it sound like dumb chick-lit. It’s a combination of fast-moving, engaging plot and intelligent writing with a lot of historical detail. The sequel comes out next month, the day after my birthday (not that I’ve hinted about it to anyone, of course).

When Red got back, we headed to North Beach and the Beat Museum. I’m sure I’ve mentioned my Beat cred, if you can call it that: Naropa, Anne Waldman, degree from the Kerouac School (Amiri Baraka offered me clam chowder during my first summer), etc. Some say this makes me part of a lineage; I’m not sure how I feel about that, since I’ve barely written a damn thing (blog notwithstanding) in six years, but I do know that Naropa, Kerouac, Ginsberg, and the hungry poetry beast still occasionally pop up in my life. Since Red feels similarly, to the Beat Museum we went.

It is so fun there! I went to a witch museum in Salem once that had the same vibe: totally hand-made and unpolished, but so knowledgeable and sincere that you can’t help but love it. We more than got our money’s worth, as you can see:

Hey there, Jack.

Blew my mind the first time I read it. True story.

Obligatory mention of The Ladies.

We couldn’t respect ourselves if we didn’t drop some major coin at City Lights, which is right across the street. I want to live there, cuddled under piles and piles of books. (Public service announcement: If, like me, you’ve been spoiled by Amazon, books are actually expensive, and selling them is a labor of love. Support the indies! They’re worth it.)

Next stop: dinner. Red’s friend and his wife waved to us from their table at the Stinking Rose, but the menu didn’t have anything for us. Pity, because the gimmick of a garlic restaurant is a good one.

Killer garlic!

Back to the Supreme Master we went. Yes, friends, we succumbed a second time to the temptation of Loving Hut. I don’t remember what we had, but as you can see, it was pretty good.

I think it was raining again by the time we finished. We were both ready to crash, so we headed back to the hotel and did exactly that. We needed to rest up for our last day, and for Millennium!

In the City by the Bay, Day 4.

I was free until dinner, so I headed back to the Haight to meet up with my friend Josh. Despite not having seen each other since grad school (so, 6ish years ago), we fell into an easy conversation as we walked. And walked. Jesus H., how we walked. We walked through Golden Gate Park, all around the Haight, to his house (where we paused to leash up his roommate’s dog), then walked some more. I saw many interesting things, most of which distracted me from my aching legs and ass.

Conservatory of Flowers.

California Academy of Sciences.

You know, how you do.

Twin Peaks! This is major for some of you, I know.

The view from Josh’s place. I swear the Golden Gate Bridge is out there somewhere.

I wish I had a photo of Mini the furry (not wrinkly) Shar Pei, but she was very happy to be out for a walk and not inclined to pose for pictures. She did help me miss Lucy ever-so-slightly less, though.

Views from the park where we took Mini.

Amongst Josh’s other excellent qualities (writer, world traveler, soccer fan), he is vegan and tends bar at Millennium. SCORE. If Yoga on the Labyrinth was my only San Francisco must-do, then Millennium was a close second. Because he is a kind and generous person, Josh suggested that Red and I come in for dinner on our last evening in town, sit at the bar, and he’d take care of us. I didn’t care how far I had to walk—I would have dinner at Millennium.

After we dropped Mini off at home, we had a very long, serious discussion about what to have for lunch. Because Josh knows food (like, really knows food) and I could barely find my way around the city unassisted, I deferred to his suggestions.

We settled on Herbivore. I was feeling like ramen would be a good idea, and Herbivore does a very good ginger ramen. It was warm and spicy and did the trick. I don’t remember what Josh had, probably because I was too busy slurping my ramen and giving up on making any sensible use of chopsticks to notice.


After lunch, Josh walked me to the tiniest little Whole Foods in existence so I could pick up some fruit and snacks. I think Red wanted bananas. Conveniently, it was right next to my bus stop, so we hugged and promised to see each other when Red and I got all dressed up and went to Millennium.


I could have crashed when I got back to the hotel, but it was not to be. Red and I had dinner plans with Giselle, my soul sister. I hadn’t seen Giselle since 2005, when I visited her and her husband at their home in Mexico. She is currently based in Oakland, which is a short BART ride from San Francisco. Y’all have probably heard shady things about Oakland, but I’m from Baltimore, so I have little fear of urban dangers. I think this concerns Red sometimes. Giselle met us at the BART station, and we walked (more walking, dammit) to Souley Vegan. With apologies to Jane Austen: It is a truth universally acknowledged that if any city is in possession of at least one vegan restaurant, it will be a soul-food joint. I find this very comforting.

The food was awesome. Red had barbecue tofu, which he thought would be a sandwich but was really just a pile of tasty tofu on some lettuce leaves. Not a hardship. Giselle had spaghetti with falafel, which is not a combo you’d ordinarily think would work, but it did. And I had this yummy little bowl full of grits, jambalaya, and popcorn-fried tofu. Maryland is not really Southern enough for grits to be A Thing here, but I love them, so this was a special treat. Giselle and I had some sake-spiked lemonade, which was delicious. I don’t really like sake, but I liked this.




Really, I was just so happy to see my friend and for she and Red to finally meet. Giselle and I have seen each other through some fairly shitty times, so for us to finally be together as people with semi-coherent lives and decent measures of grown-up happiness was a joy. I was so sad when we parted company at the BART station, but I can’t wait to do it again.

Love is all you need.

Coming up (in like 10 years, given my blogging pace of late): A day with Hilary!

In the City by the Bay, Day 3.

I spent the first half of our third day wandering around Haight-Ashbury, buying pretty things and taking pictures of weird hippie shit (says the weird hippie), occasionally texting Red when something was especially noteworthy (Tibetan shop, shrine to Jimi Hendrix). It was a lot of walking.

I bought lovely glass ear plugs here. It’s hard to tell, but the front of the shop is made of mirror mosaics!

Then my feet were tired, but Golden Gate Park appeared so I could sit down and eat a Larabar.




After I bid the Haight farewell, I got on the wrong bus for Japantown. This situation happened to me with considerable frequency during the week, because Baltimore has no useful mass transit to speak of and my sense of direction could charitably be described as poor. No thanks to my own navigational skills, I finally made it to this stupid-expensive store that my friend Liz wanted me to say hi to for her. I was nowhere cool enough to be in there, and they didn’t allow photos, so I sort of felt like I’d wasted a trip, but what the hell. It was a new experience.

After I made it back to the hotel, Red and I skipped dinner in favor of healthy snacks because we were headed to Yoga on the Labyrinth! I was more excited about this than about any other part of the trip. If I’d done nothing else that week but stay in our hotel room and read, I would have counted San Francisco a success. I first learned about Yoga on the Labyrinth over the summer, and filed it in the back of my mind as something awesome to do one day. As our trip plans firmed up, I coincidentally found myself reading a book by the instructor, Darren Main—Red’s parents had seen two of his books on my Amazon wish list and given them to me for Christmas. Everything clicked and I realized that I’d be able to take a class with Darren and thank him for his inspiring work! I was a very happy yogini!

Of course Red and I had brought our yoga mats, but his buddy Tony was joining us too and had never done yoga. Luckily, he found a cheap Old Navy mat and grabbed a space next to us. The class was great and very interesting, not least because marble floors are less than supportive, even with a mat! It was so interesting to watch my practice change with the environment and remember that this experience was one I might never have again, so I’d better stay mindful and release my expectations for myself. On top of that, I counted over 100 people stretched out on the floor. 100 people in one class! That’s every yoga teacher’s dream!

Before and after class, we had a chance to look around the cathedral and take pictures. It is gorgeous. I felt so peaceful and centered there, surrounded by all the serenity. I introduced myself to Darren, told him about the serendipity of our trip and my in-laws’ gift of his books, and he was very welcoming and gracious. If I’m ever in San Francisco again, I’ll be sure to take another of his classes.

Lovely Keith Haring triptych in the AIDS Chapel.

AIDS Memorial Quilt. My camera doesn’t do the colors justice.

Thus ended Day 3—on a nice little yoga high and with no concrete plans for Day 4. Whatever could I have found to do?