Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Veganism = Crazy good sex.

You heard it here first! An animal-friendly life can lead to better, more frequent orgasms. Before we get too deep into this, however, let me dash your hopes by declaring that we will not be discussing my sex life. *sadface*

Self, that worthy publication, has included in its latest issue several women’s secrets for hitting the jackpot. At the very top of the list, behold the following:

“Since going vegan, I’ve felt healthier and more energetic, which has translated into stronger orgasms.” —Chloe, 33, New York City
Sing it, sister! Way to get your motor runnin’ with tofu and veggies. Self follows up Chloe’s assertion by confirming that, yes, healthy lifestyle choices can lead to better sex. Nicely done, Self.

Full disclosure: I’m not praising Self to high heaven. I subscribe because I bought some stuff from Amazon last year and they kicked in a free subscription. Since I like the workouts and fitness tips, I re-upped my subscription for something like $9. Then that whole airbrushing-hot-Kelly-Clarkson-into-skinny-Kelly-Clarkson debacle happened, and I decided I wouldn’t be subscribing anymore because I don’t need my healthy-living magazines to be perpetuating such dysfunctional nonsense. I can go to Vogue for that, thankyouverymuch. (I don’t, because I’m afraid of Anna Wintour.)

I’m glad that Self readers are getting the message that vegans are not a humorless, clammy bunch staring morosely into our miso soup. Vegans are here, we’re hot, and we’ll rock your socks off in the sack!

Dirty socks ripped from West Seattle Funblog.

7 comments:

  1. Vegans are SO sexy! The more meat and dairy crap you put in your body the grosser you'll feel and who wants to do the deed when you are feeling bleh? And honestly, what is more attractive than compassion? Hmm...all this talk is getting me frisky....gotta go! ;-)

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  2. You know, come to think of it, I think this is how I ended up with a subscription to FHM a few years back! (*shudder*)

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  3. Tasha linked this post and I have to say I am LOL and I love it :) great post!

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  4. Awesome post! Parts of it made me chuckle whilst enjoying my coffee at some ungodly hour of the morning. Go vegan!

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  5. Of course! They might be a little crusty....

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