Veganism = Crazy good sex.

You heard it here first! An animal-friendly life can lead to better, more frequent orgasms. Before we get too deep into this, however, let me dash your hopes by declaring that we will not be discussing my sex life. *sadface*

Self, that worthy publication, has included in its latest issue several women’s secrets for hitting the jackpot. At the very top of the list, behold the following:

“Since going vegan, I’ve felt healthier and more energetic, which has translated into stronger orgasms.” —Chloe, 33, New York City

Sing it, sister! Way to get your motor runnin’ with tofu and veggies. Self follows up Chloe’s assertion by confirming that, yes, healthy lifestyle choices can lead to better sex. Nicely done, Self.

Full disclosure: I’m not praising Self to high heaven. I subscribe because I bought some stuff from Amazon last year and they kicked in a free subscription. Since I like the workouts and fitness tips, I re-upped my subscription for something like $9. Then that whole airbrushing-hot-Kelly-Clarkson-into-skinny-Kelly-Clarkson debacle happened, and I decided I wouldn’t be subscribing anymore because I don’t need my healthy-living magazines to be perpetuating such dysfunctional nonsense. I can go to Vogue for that, thankyouverymuch. (I don’t, because I’m afraid of Anna Wintour.)

I’m glad that Self readers are getting the message that vegans are not a humorless, clammy bunch staring morosely into our miso soup. Vegans are here, we’re hot, and we’ll rock your socks off in the sack!

Dirty socks ripped from West Seattle Funblog.