Monday, November 2, 2009

More baby steps.

I totally forgot about World Vegan Day yesterday. I’m a terrible vegan, I know. Please read Stephanie’s piece here, because she is not a terrible vegan. Anyway, I already told you my vegan story.

Last night, Red and I had dinner with my parents, my sister and her boyfriend, and an old family friend. It was lovely—we had wine, pumpkin martinis, and a delicious vegan pistou soup. We caught up, shared Halloween stories, and played with the kitties. Then they had dessert.

I did not.

As you may recall, I sometimes have difficulty saying no. When my sister unveiled the adorable Halloween cupcakes she had brought, I knew I had to be strong. I wasn’t even tempted, really, which surprised me. “Can you eat these? I know sometimes you’ll eat them when I make them,” she said. She really wanted me to enjoy them. I took a deep breath, then explained that while they looked great, I wouldn’t be doing anyone any favors by eating one and giving the impression that my principles are negotiable. She pouted. “You had that rehearsed,” she said. Indeed I did, because I don’t do well on the spur of the moment. I wanted so much to make my sister happy, but I couldn’t do it. The cupcakes were beautiful, but they just weren’t food to me. They were chicks tossed into a grinder and calves wailing for their mothers. I hugged her, and I hope she understood. Once I get a cupcake pan, I’ll bake her some vegan cupcakes.

Many thanks and blessings to Marla at Vegan Feminist Agitator, who challenged me to think more deeply about my accommodating behaviors and how they prevent me from living as truthfully as I want to. It gets a little bit easier every time.


  1. Good for you for saying "no"! I wish I would have been that strong this weekend. There's just something about being around family that makes it so dang hard :( I like that you had a prepared response too; I'll have to start working on one of my own for Thanksgiving!

  2. I believe in scripted answers to the difficult issues. It makes it easier on you. It is hard enough to stick to principles that the rest of the world doesn't quite get.
    Happy belated Vegan Day!

  3. RIGHT ON! Sounds like you had an amazing genuine vegan moment. It's true, sometimes we try to placate people and be too friendly and too accommodating, we don't want to be THAT vegan, so we can let people get the wrong impression.

    I try to say exactly what I mean with a smile on my face, but still get the point across. I just remind myself that I have to speak for the animals, because they can't speak for themselves.

    LOVED this post!